/r/BotTwoSentenceHorror

@bottwosentencehorror@tinysubversions.glitch.me

Bad bad two sentence horror, ripped from the NYTimes headlines. Parody of this Twitter account. By Darius Kazemi.


841

Posted 2 days ago by this bot

Is a Kitchen Island Essential?

No, but You Know You Want One.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/04/26/realestate/kitchen-island-design.html

(link to this post)

503

Posted 2 days ago by this bot

Letters to the Editor: If you can't afford L.A., live elsewhere.

That was true in the 1950s too

https://www.latimes.com/opinion/letters-to-the-editor/story/2022-05-17/if-you-cant-afford-la-live-elsewhere

(link to this post)

992

Posted 3 days ago by this bot

Is Covid More Dangerous Than Driving?

How Scientists Are Parsing Covid Risks.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/04/17/science/covid-risks.html

(link to this post)

642

Posted 3 days ago by this bot

Doja Cat is supposedly a big fan of Taco Bell's Mexican Pizza.

Now it's coming back

https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/music/story/2022-04-18/doja-cat-taco-bell-mexican-pizza-tiktok-coachella

(link to this post)

473

Posted 3 days ago by this bot

What is aphasia?

Behind the brain disorder that has affected Bruce Willis

https://www.latimes.com/science/story/2022-03-30/what-is-aphasia-bruce-willis-cognitive-disorder

(link to this post)

458

Posted 4 days ago by this bot

The bow tie can set you free with tastefulness.

But this is not a tasteful time

https://www.latimes.com/lifestyle/image/story/2022-03-28/oscars-red-carpet-fashion-trend-analysis-the-bow-tie-style

(link to this post)

383

Posted 4 days ago by this bot

There’s an Animal That Walks on Three Limbs.

It’s a Parrot.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/17/science/parrots-three-limbs.html

(link to this post)

838

Posted 4 days ago by this bot

You’ve Been to the Brooklyn Museum.

But Have You Seen It Like This?

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/17/arts/design/brooklyn-museum-monet-morisot-european-art.html

(link to this post)

792

Posted 5 days ago by this bot

Are You Happy?

Your Boss Is Asking.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/16/business/worker-happiness-management.html

(link to this post)

334

Posted 5 days ago by this bot

The World’s a Mess.

So They’ve Stopped Saving for Tomorrow.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/13/style/saving-less-money.html

(link to this post)

756

Posted 6 days ago by this bot

Is a Kitchen Island Essential?

No, but You Know You Want One.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/04/26/realestate/kitchen-island-design.html

(link to this post)

692

Posted 6 days ago by this bot

Is a Kitchen Island Essential?

No, but You Know You Want One.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/04/26/realestate/kitchen-island-design.html

(link to this post)

70

Posted 6 days ago by this bot

Where Did People From the Great Resignation Go?

Back to Work.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/13/business/great-resignation-jobs.html

(link to this post)

644

Posted 1 week ago by this bot

The World Tries to Move Beyond Covid.

China May Stand in the Way.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/13/business/china-zero-covid-xi.html

(link to this post)

330

Posted 1 week ago by this bot

So You Want to Buy an Electric Car.

Where Are You Going to Charge It?

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/07/realestate/electric-car-charging.html

(link to this post)

73

Posted 1 week ago by this bot

Did Warming Play a Role in Deadly South African Floods?

Yes, a Study Says.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/13/climate/south-africa-floods-climate-change.html

(link to this post)

873

Posted 1 week ago by this bot

So You Want to Buy an Electric Car.

Where Are You Going to Charge It?

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/07/realestate/electric-car-charging.html

(link to this post)

911

Posted 1 week ago by this bot

Mattea Roach Ended Her ‘Jeopardy!’ Streak.

Her Blazers Live On.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/06/style/mattea-roach-jeopardy.html

(link to this post)

249

Posted 1 week ago by this bot

Goodwill Sold a Bust for $34.99.

It’s an Ancient Roman Relic.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/06/us/roman-bust-goodwill-san-antonio-museum.html

(link to this post)

894

Posted 1 week ago by this bot

‘Senior Year’ Review: Oops!

She’s Prom Queen Again.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/13/movies/senior-year-review.html

(link to this post)

800

Posted 1 week ago by this bot

The World Tries to Move Beyond Covid.

China May Stand in the Way.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/13/business/china-zero-covid-xi.html

(link to this post)

983

Posted 1 week ago by this bot

Is Covid More Dangerous Than Driving?

How Scientists Are Parsing Covid Risks.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/04/17/science/covid-risks.html

(link to this post)

901

Posted 1 week ago by this bot

Goodwill Sold a Bust for $34.99.

It’s an Ancient Roman Relic.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/06/us/roman-bust-goodwill-san-antonio-museum.html

(link to this post)

894

Posted 1 week ago by this bot

Looking for Gifts for Wedding Guests?

Try a Good Book

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/04/28/style/books-wedding-favors-for-guests.html

(link to this post)

819

Posted 1 week ago by this bot

Goodwill Sold a Bust for $34.99.

It’s an Ancient Roman Relic.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/06/us/roman-bust-goodwill-san-antonio-museum.html

(link to this post)

208

Posted 2 weeks ago by this bot

What Makes Art Great?

Two Comic Novels Hazard a Guess.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/10/books/review/mark-haber-emily-hall.html

(link to this post)

518

Posted 2 weeks ago by this bot

What Makes Art Great?

Two Comic Novels Hazard a Guess.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/10/books/review/mark-haber-emily-hall.html

(link to this post)

600

Posted 2 weeks ago by this bot

The Tenants Tried to Stop an Eviction.

Now They Could Own the Building

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/06/realestate/tenants-eviction-port-morris-bronx.html

(link to this post)

979

Posted 2 weeks ago by this bot

A Black Man Ran to Gay Enclaves to Feel Safe.

But Was He Welcome?

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/04/29/realestate/black-homeowners-gay-enclaves.html

(link to this post)

121

Posted 2 weeks ago by this bot

Japan Has Long Sought More Inflation and a Weak Yen.

But Not Like This.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/10/business/japan-yen-inflation.html

(link to this post)

592

Posted 2 weeks ago by this bot

A Black Man Ran to Gay Enclaves to Feel Safe.

But Was He Welcome?

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/04/29/realestate/black-homeowners-gay-enclaves.html

(link to this post)

505

Posted 2 weeks ago by this bot

They Thought Remodeling Could Wait.

Then a Tree Fell on the House.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/04/19/realestate/they-thought-remodeling-could-wait-then-a-tree-fell-on-the-house.html

(link to this post)

812

Posted 2 weeks ago by this bot

A Black Man Ran to Gay Enclaves to Feel Safe.

But Was He Welcome?

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/04/29/realestate/black-homeowners-gay-enclaves.html

(link to this post)

923

Posted 2 weeks ago by this bot

Goodwill Sold a Bust for $34.99.

It’s an Ancient Roman Relic.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/06/us/roman-bust-goodwill-san-antonio-museum.html

(link to this post)

879

Posted 2 weeks ago by this bot

A Black Man Ran to Gay Enclaves to Feel Safe.

But Was He Welcome?

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/04/29/realestate/black-homeowners-gay-enclaves.html

(link to this post)

809

Posted 2 weeks ago by this bot

The Tenants Tried to Stop an Eviction.

Now They Could Own the Building

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/06/realestate/tenants-eviction-port-morris-bronx.html

(link to this post)

858

Posted 2 weeks ago by this bot

They Thought Remodeling Could Wait.

Then a Tree Fell on the House.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/04/19/realestate/they-thought-remodeling-could-wait-then-a-tree-fell-on-the-house.html

(link to this post)

45

Posted 2 weeks ago by this bot

Jack Harlow Knows What He Wants.

And Where He Stands.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/06/arts/music/jack-harlow-come-home-the-kids-miss-you.html

(link to this post)

501

Posted 2 weeks ago by this bot

Looking for Gifts for Wedding Guests?

Try a Good Book

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/04/28/style/books-wedding-favors-for-guests.html

(link to this post)

278

Posted 2 weeks ago by this bot

A Black Man Ran to Gay Enclaves to Feel Safe.

But Was He Welcome?

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/04/29/realestate/black-homeowners-gay-enclaves.html

(link to this post)

463

Posted 2 weeks ago by this bot

A Black Man Ran to Gay Enclaves to Feel Safe.

But Was He Welcome?

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/04/29/realestate/black-homeowners-gay-enclaves.html

(link to this post)

830

Posted 2 weeks ago by this bot

Is Covid More Dangerous Than Driving?

How Scientists Are Parsing Covid Risks.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/04/17/science/covid-risks.html

(link to this post)

838

Posted 2 weeks ago by this bot

Do Americans Support Abortion Rights?

Depends on the State.

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/04/upshot/polling-abortion-states.html

(link to this post)